dear god,
please let him know i miss him.
please let him know i still think he's funny--
i can't remember a time he didn't smile.
please let him know i'll take care of his friends down here.
please let his family be okay.
please give him a hug for me--
he really is a sweet guy.
even if he is very, very, very stupid.
and i'm sorry i'm smoking while i pray right now,
but thanks for being cool with it anyway.
i want to make his daughter brownies or some shit like that.
is that weird?
maybe it's my mormon upbringing.
i could cook up a casserole--stupid funeral potatoes.
love, keldy.
(i feel like i should be more emotional about this.
or be upset or something. that's normal, right? that's what normal
people do?
but i'm really just okay with it. death or jail. death or jail. that's
how people like us work.
and i know that he'll be okay.)
(there are things i wish i could tell you... but i'm afraid of what you'd say.)
