i'll never stop loving you.and these words i stole from you: i live them while you recite them as a justification to explain away your misunderstood behaviour. and i was applauded. but i wish that you could see who you are as clearly as i can see who you will become by living this way. i still defend you. i still love you. i wish you would stop cheating yourself. please. know you're worth the effort. and the heartache. maybe no one else sees it but i don't care. i think you have within you this beauty and this horrendous awful symmetry for living. i don't mind if you need to hate me, i really don't. but at least let this waste open up your eyes to what you're worth. and maybe you are too afraid of what everyone thinks to be able to see what i see in you, but lately all i ever see is this beautiful girl who is decieving herself. you don't deserve what you hand yourself so readily, without regard to your own best interest or any thought as to what you really belive. you deserve so much more. so, think about what you consider your stolen poetry. think about what those lyrics mean. because you don't live them. you only ride them into escape and excuse. hate me if that is what you need--but you deserve so much more. you are alive underneath. you have a heart underneath.you are as real as they come underneath if you only learned who you really are. please, darling: surface yourself. become a part of no one.
surface.
surface.
hate me if you will, but find yourself.
surface.
surface.
surface.
all i've ever wanted was for you to be loved. all i've ever wanted was for you to be alive. all i've ever wanted was for you to believe in something real. i'll always be here for you. i'll always break my back to carry you wherever you want to go. let me know if you ever need a real friend: a person who loves you for exactly who you are--good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you--a person who is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. 'cause you know i'll be there through it all. you will always be my friend. you will always have a hold on my heart, because you are the one who taught me how to live. you will always mean something to me. and i believe in something real in you.
(but i just can't stick around.
and wait and cry like you did.
i won't let myself be ruled
by someone else.
who doesn't want to care.
but know i love you.
and know i'll be here for you
when ever.
where ever.
what ever.
you need me.)
i love you, fancy.
good luck finding something real.
you deserve to be happy.
but so do i.
