lying on my back on the earth's dead stomach, he's lying on his stomach on top of me. clawing at my shoulders, biting my neck until it's sore. overcast skies. brown shirt. brown grass. brown cigars. my chest sinking through my bones and sucked down into brown brown mud.
i feel so naive and so childish for trusting and loving people like i do sometimes. and it hurts to believe that since i've let her go, she'll be gone forever. and it's not even her anymore. i hate how cryptic i am when it's night time and i'm alone but i need to wake up early for work. early to bed, you know? i miss everything. need to copy and print and stack all through the midday sun--no cigarettes, no freedom, no meaningful boredom and meaningful conversation never more.
